The Republican Sharia

Texas Governor Rick Perry, whom we used to call Governor Goodhair, after his unusually perfect male-model locks, but now call Governor MoFo, because of his open-mike screw-up after an interview with a reporter who displeased him, has initiated what promises to be the Republican strategy for the future of Texas, and I suspect, for America: Gay bashing.

A little background, first. The governor has presided over 3 consecutive Republican controlled legislative sessions now in which absolutely nothing has gotten done. He promised to cut property taxes. And he promised to provide more funding for schools and raise teacher salaries. The legislature, a slight majority of whom can count, refused to do either. To do the first would make the second impossible, and to do the second would make the first impossible. So the legislature settled for the next best thing--they did neither, but passed an amendment to the Texas Constitution, at Perry's urging, making gay marriage illegal.

Never mind that gay marriage is already illegal in Texas. This will be part of the goddamn Texas Constitution, if the voters go for it, so that a future imaginary liberal legislature cannot undo it by just passing a law.

But nevertheless, the public is a little miffed about Perry's non-performance in office, and he has a hard primary battle ahead of him, and a potentially hard general election against a Democrat (something unheard of in Texas for many years) if he gets the nomination again.

So he is traveling around the state making speeches against homosexuality. I think he believes this is a foolproof strategy for reelection in Texas. My fear is that he may be correct.

Here is his opening salvo:

The Texas Marriage Alliance represents all Texans who believe in the sanctity of marriage. That marriage is the union between a man and a woman is a truth known to each one of us already, and any attempt to allow same-sex marriages is a detriment to the family unit and hurts our state and nation. Tragically, there are liberal court challenges to the sanctity of marriage, and political efforts are underway nationwide to recognize unions between two men or two women. That is why we believe it's necessary to organize and mobilize all Texans committed to the fundamental belief that marriage is only a union between a man and a woman. ... The Marriage Alliance welcomes people of all faiths to our cause. Baptist, Catholic, Lutheran, Evangelical and Jewish leaders have all spoken out in favor of the sanctity of marriage. Marriage finds meaning and purpose in faith — it holds and binds us together. And we welcome religious leaders to be vocal advocates of our cause. The vast majority of people in Texas and across this nation believe that marriage is a sacred institution between one man and one woman. If you agree, please join us!

Just amazing. "Marriage finds meaning and purpose in faith — it holds and binds us together." Just what the hell is that supposed to mean? All I can see here is an explicit appeal to the establishment of religious law in Texas. And a cynical ploy. Governor Mofo is a failure as a governor, so this is the ace up his sleeve. And if the Iraq is still as much of an albatross in 2006 as it is now, expect to see this nationwide. "Don't think about that war! Think about the gay threat to marriage."

And Perry, and the Republicans like him, are completely shameless. Most of them don't personally believe any of this shit. The governor himself is secular and foul-mouthed, except before the cameras. Well, he slipped up, once, in front of some cameras, but hey, if he plays the gay card right nobody will remember.